Blue Holiday
by I. Run. E
Summary: Chapter 3: If Santa were real, he probably wouldn't like nonbelievers...
1. Halloweeny

A short one-shot to prove I'm still alive.

* * *

"On this very night… ten years ago… on this same stretch of road…" 

There was no road even close to us, but I guess it's just a part of her story.

"In a dense fog…_ just like this_… I saw the worst accident I've ever seen…"

We were inside the clubroom. The lights were turned off and the back window was blacked out with construction paper. The only source of light provided came from random candles that were scattered across the floor, and the flashlight Haruhi was holding in her hands at the moment.

"There was this sound… like a garbage truck… dropped off of the Empire State Building…"

Haruhi drew short breathes for every phrase that came out of her mouth. Her voice was uncharacteristically thin and deep, and her eyes had a blank look, something like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Then when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted… burning… wreck…"

She pushed the flashlight up underneath her chin, really pressing for that dramatic effect.

"It looked like _this_!"

"Eeeeee!"

Asahina-san screamed at the sudden face Haruhi made.

As expected, Asahina-san was very easy to scare, but looking around, it seemed like no one else was. Koizumi, as usual, was smiling like an idiot, and Nagato's expression naturally remained unchanged. Along with me, the vaguely interested but somewhat paying attention dolt, the entire SOS Brigade seemed to be actively involved in another pointless activity.

"Mmm…" Haruhi grunted, "It wasn't _that_ bad of a story."

Let me give you a rundown of our situation.

It's Halloween.

…

That should explain plenty.

Since this club pretty much did nothing but celebrate various seasonal festivals, commemorating a western children's holiday wasn't too far off of Haruhi's list-to-do things.

Let me say that this is especially frustrating for me, as Halloween isn't really celebrated as much here in Japan as in other countries. People tend to give strange looks towards groups of suspiciously costumed teenagers carrying around rolls of toilet paper and cartons of eggs.

Below is an actual description of that event:

"Haruhi, what is that?"

I asked, pointing to the red wagon that lay beside her feet.

"Twenty-four rolls of toilet paper and sixty eggs," she replied promptly, "We can split these equally amongst ourselves to get ready for the harvest!"

My crooked smile faltered a bit. Having met up with the rest of the club members in front of the school gates, I was disgruntled with the random stash of items. I had a bad feeling swell up in the pit of my stomach.

"And why… do we need this?"

And wait, you said_ split equally_? How are we supposed to split twenty-four into five?

"It's_ trick_-or-treat! In the case we don't get candy, we have to be prepared! And as brigade chief, I _of course_ get double the ammunition."

She made it sound like we were going to war.

"That's vandalism."

And that's not splitting evenly.

"It's tradition."

I shot a glance towards the other silent members of our little club gathering, but I was met with no support, unless you count the cute panicked murmurs of Asahina-san about respecting the law and such. Oh, if only all the criminals in the world could hear her, I bet the crime rate would drop significantly. But, the point was, no one heard her.

It would be some time before I managed to persuade Haruhi to drop her idea on arbitrarily visiting people's houses and forcing them to relinquish their candy. But in order to do this, it felt like I had to sell my soul to the devil.

…I'd rather not go into details of our little bargain.

…

Well, anyway, we went into the clubroom, and to my dismay, Haruhi thought telling ghost stories would be Halloween-y enough to celebrate the holiday. As if all of us weren't Halloween-y enough.

Each of us was in costume. And two out of the five of us was wearing something I had previously seen. Nagato was wearing, probably, the only costume she had, the cape and witch's hat from _that_ event, and Asahina-san had forced herself into the frog suit, which was from that _other_ event. I could understand this, as Nagato probably didn't care, and Asahina-san was probably too embarrassed to enter a costume shop on her own.

…but looking at them now, I'm actually kind of disappointed on not being able to see them in something different.

"Perhaps it would be better if we had someone else tell a story."

My eyes immediately turned to the old man sitting beside me.

Koizumi was sporting a gray wig and beard. He was fancily dressed in a brown waistcoat, dress pants, and a white collar shirt. When asked what he was supposed to be, he answered, "Sigmund Freud". I immediately stopped listening to him after that comment.

"…all right," she said grudgingly, "but first."

Haruhi put the flashlight on the tabletop. She stood up, skipped to the other end of the room, miraculously dodging the candles on the floor, and opened the broom closet. From inside she took out what appeared to be some kind of bag of torture.

"All of your costumes are too boring. How about we spice them up?"

By "boring", she must have meant "not like hers". Her majesty was wearing something that looked like belonged to an evil overlord, or the daughter of an evil overlord, if he ever had one. In effect, she looked like the Queen of Hearts, wearing a glorifying crown on her head and wielding an even-more-ego-boosting scepter in her hands. I'm curious to ask wear she got such an outfit, but she would probably say, "The internet" and go on ignoring me like always.

From the bag, Haruhi pulled out a small red ball, and like dogs, each of our heads followed it as she waved it around.

"Here!"

She said. Haruhi jumped in front of Koizumi, twirled around, and placed it on his nose. I'm kind of surprised her dress didn't catch on fire.

"…"

Koizumi blinked several times, unsure of what to say. He fumbled with his words and eventually came up with,

"…and, this is?"

"It's a rubber nose."

She said. Slowly, he brought his hand up to his face and softly pressed the ball with his thumb and index finger, making a plushy squeaky sound.

"...thank you, Suzumiya-san."

He said, making his best efforts to smile proudly. Satisfied, Haruhi moved to her next victim.

"Auuuu…."

Asahina-san cried softly and backed up into the wall.

"Don't worry," she said, gradually advancing, "This won't hurt me at all."

With a flash, she slashed at her face, and a pair of giant antlers suddenly appeared on top of her head. And when I say "antlers" I mean those branches that grow out of a deer's head. …yeah.

Silently, Asahina-san touched the wooden headgear.

"It's nice."

Haruhi had no modesty in taking that compliment and immediately turned around. Her mischievous eyes, this time, were set on-

"Touch me and die."

I said straight away.

Oh, and, just so you know, I was dressed as the Grim Reaper, since it was the most common thing to dress as during Halloween. I would've preferred to wear a mask to hide my humiliation, but due to the lack of cash in my wallet, I was stuck with plain robes.

"You dare defy me?"

She threatened me with her shiny scepter, and I blocked her with my cheap plastic scythe.

"So what if I am?"

I retorted. We engaged ourselves in a short push-pull staring contest. It was one-sided since Haruhi had Herculean strength on her side and I had the normal power of opening jars for my sister on mine.

"Don't you want to see what I've got in here for you?"

She asked, slowly overpowering me.

"No, not really."

I answered. Haruhi frowned, and loosened her pressure.

"Fine," she said, "I wouldn't want to waste this last one on you anyway."

Moving towards the silent Nagato, she held out a hand to her and placed the last items on her head.

"Here Yuki."

"…"

What was the final accessory? Twin drills.

…I had _really_ dodged a bullet there.

I watched as Haruhi glued the metal objects to Nagato's hair, and as expected, she did nothing to stop her. I think this is the closest I've ever seen of Haruhi molesting Nagato.

"Oy, Kyon!"

She said, putting her final touches on the girl.

"Tell us the next ghost story."

It took me a moment until I realized she was talking me.

"Huh?"

"Since you aren't wearing anything funny," she said, "telling a ghost story is in your jurisdiction. If it were anyone else, it would just be ridiculous."

What if I don't want to?

Haruhi frowned at me and decided to take a different approach.

"We'll settle this with the majority vote."

She declared on her own.

"All in favor of Kyon telling a ghost story."

Haruhi raised her hand… and she was the only one raising her hand.

"All opposed."

I raised mine, and as I looked at the other members, I noticed that nobody else had raised theirs. Asahina-san was too preoccupied with playing with her antlers, and Koizumi flashed that usual grin of his, which now gave off an "evil clown" vibe. And surprisingly, I also noticed that Nagato seemed to be polishing her drills with her own personal cloth.

"I win!"

Haruhi declared triumphantly.

"What? It's a tie. I raised my hand."

"Your vote doesn't count," she said, "Since this is about _you_, you have a personal conflict. Therefore, your ballot is _denied_."

I cringed at this evil princess… but, it wasn't like she asking me to do anything spectacular.

"Fine… I'll do it."

I took the flashlight from the table and plopped down into a chair, where my robe wouldn't catch on fire.

"…"

I glanced around and saw that everyone was looking at me. Asahina-san's and Nagato's wide eyes were fixed on me like glue, while Koizumi's and Haruhi's seemed ready to analyze every movement I made in conjunction with my story. I opened my mouth to say something.

"…"

It wasn't like I was afraid to speak in public. To tell you the truth, it was just that I've never told a ghost story before. Sure, I've some scary stuff on the internet, but implementing those things into a verbal fairy-tale was a foreign subject to me. In fact, I don't even remember my parents ever telling me bedtime stories. I'm sure, at one point, they did, but that was kind of long ago.

I wonder… did they ever just hang their mouth open until I told them to get on with it.

"Get on with it!"

"…well, err," I stuttered in a panic, "There was this… thing in the news-"

"Stop!"

My rough start came to an abrupt end with her interruption.

"This is a ghost story," she said, "not a recount of your dull monotonous life. You have to get into the _mood_. You have to speak lower, softer, _scary_."

She said it like she was an expert in speech and debate. Yeah, like that last story was any good.

"Okay!"

I turned my head away from her quickly… and that's when an idea for a story struck me.

It was a sickeningly sick idea, one that would probably make Haruhi turn several shades of white. But adversely, there might be some consequences.

…

…oh, to hell with it.

I started again, this time in a lower, softer, _scary_ voice.

"His name was John Smith."

Haruhi's eyes immediately widened at that name, as if to say, "That sounds a little… familiar".

"Supposedly, that was his name."

Asahina-san put her hands over her mouth, and silently listened. Of course, she wouldn't know the significance of that name yet, so she paid attention intently, like a child to a real ghost story. The rest had a change in attitude. In Nagato's case, it was like a nudge of interest. In Haruhi's, it was a kind of reminiscence. And Koizumi, I guess that would be accumulating stress from Haruhi reminiscing.

"…people have seen him."

I said, staring at the queen.

"When he was alive, they say he hung around alone, wandering the streets like a corpse. People have given the description of him being six foot, ruggedly handsome, strong jaw line, a _bold_ figure wearing a high school uniform.

"He had the appearance of a movie star and was able to charm anyone with a look and a smile."

I smiled.

"If any girl asked him to do a favor, he would do it, no matter what it was. He'd help carry groceries, open the door for you, pet your head, and grin. And if any girl asked him a question, he would answer it the way she wanted, no matter how weird the answer.

"Overall, to any girl in the world, he was perfect.

"…this, however, was just a façade.

"Behind that… devilishly gorgeous face… was a truly mysterious being."

I was making stuff up, but all the same, Haruhi was silently absorbing every word.

"They say he came out at night, carrying a girl on his back, walking to an unknown destination.

"Where he went, nobody knows.

"Nobody asked.

"But it's certain that the girl on his back was unconscious. So, what was with this suspicious behavior? Was this a kidnapping? Was this guy a serial killer with a fetish? If so, are there other victims? Is he still alive? And why wasn't anyone paying attention to such a guy? There should at least be a small news article over this, right?

"The answers to all these questions are…"

Haruhi was leaning in now, eager to learn more.

"There are no answers.

"The cold case of John Smith is supposedly false. If someone were to look for John Smith, they would come to a dead end. There was no one at night wandering around the streets. There would be no person in any high school that would even resemble him back then. And the only evidence of him actually existing is just a few words, maybe a favor, and a goodbye."

"Authorities question whether or not John is even real, as the people who have supposedly seen him were alone when he talked with them, in a place where there were no other witnesses. They also question about the supposed victim herself, as there were no girls who had gone missing in the vicinity, or any girls matching of the given descriptions."

Asahina-san was looking up to me, seemingly relieved that this wasn't really much of a scary story.

"So... it was believed that John was a figment of the imagination."

At this point, Haruhi almost seemed to question herself. I argued on her behalf since she wouldn't dare to do so herself.

"…but then, if that was true, how could a figment of our imagination lift something up, open the door, help with menial tasks, or even touch another person, as what people have described?

"That's the mystery.

"So let's ask a different question."

I turned off the flashlight and let the silence soak in.

"..."

"Have you… yourself… ever met John Smith?"

I ended it. And I_ thought_ I wrapped that up rather nicely, but…

"…Kyon."

Haruhi spoke up.

"That was… stupid and boring."

* * *

Club was dismissed and everyone was to go their separate ways. Unfortunately, Koizumi decided to tag along beside me before he went his. 

"You told quite an interesting tale there."

It wasn't really interesting. I just wanted to try to spook Haruhi.

"And you did. Suzumiya-san was quite taken."

It didn't seem like it.

"However..."

I heaved a sigh and put my hood on. It was getting cold.

"However what?"

"Forcing ideas into Suzumiya-san's head may not be good, especially if these ideas have and correlation to _that_ event."

He emphasized "that" as if I had forgotten. Honestly, weren't you listening?

"As long as I don't say that _I'm_ John Smith, we don't have a problem, do we?"

The unwavering in my voice made me sound a little automatic, and the sound of my footsteps started to match his as we walked along.

"Not necessarily. With those ideas you threw out, you gave Suzumiya-san a reason to believe you were a spectral being."

"And you're afraid I might become _undead_?"

"That may be a possibility. Another possibility is that she could manifest a corporal spirit, since, to her, you and John Smith are separate entities. Alternatively, this could cause problems, as she believes that this new _John_ is responsible for-"

"Koizumi."

I stopped. We reached the intersection, and he was about to take the crosswalk. With a withering voice, I said,

"I can't take you seriously with that rubber nose on."

* * *

I feel obligated to turn something in each month, and since none of my other works seem to be close to done, I thought a short story would be okay. I pretty much came up with this on a whim just several days ago. Personally, I find this a little light with nothing much really going on, but I think this is an average piece for me. I hope you all like it. 

Happy Halloween!


	2. Christmassy

_"You'll shoot your eye out kid."_

* * *

I found myself seated in the clubroom, staring blankly at the window. Oddly enough, the room was empty, as all of the impractical belongings of the SOS Brigade had vanished. Walls were bare, floors were swept clean of dust, and all in all, it looked like the place had been robbed of everything that wasn't nailed down. However, all that hardly seemed important to me… as I was strapped to the chair I was sitting on. 

My ankles were bound to each leg with rope, and my arms were wrapped around the back of the chair. This was the start of something very peculiar.

Without a reason, a beat started to play. And then… sleigh bells came in from nowhere. Suddenly, Haruhi jumped in front of me, wearing a slim Santa outfit.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,"

She sang, bending her knees in sync with the beat.

"Had a very shi-ny nose!"

From her back, she took out a red rubber ball and squeezed it, causing it to emit a sickeningly cute squishy noise.

"And if you _ever_ saw it,"

Her hand shot forward at my face.

"You would even say it glows!"

"Like a light bulb!"

Asahina-san suddenly came into my field of vision in provocative reindeer getup. She chimed in with Haruhi.

"All of- the other reindeer-"

"Used to laugh and call him names!"

Both of them eerily nodded their heads in sync with the beat of the song. And then another voice rang in.

"Like Pinocchio…"

Last but not least, Nagato appeared… in bizarre Christmas tree cosplay. She showed about as much enthusiasm as a dead dwarf.

"They_ never_ let poor Rudolph-"

"Join in any rein-deer games!"

"LIKE MONOPOLY!"

…

And just like that, I was suddenly in my room. I was sitting up in bed, short of breath, sweating buckets. My heart was beating like a rabbit inside the mouth of a coyote. And it only took me a moment to realize how stupid it was to react like that. It was just a dream, or nightmare. Actually, I'm not sure which category this belongs in…

…ah well, another dream, another field day.

I mean, if I had a nickel for every time something weird happened to me while I was sleeping, I would, well… have quite a few nickels in my possession. By that, I mean that anything that comes out of my head has no real purpose in the real world whatsoever. Err, that didn't come out right. Well, I guess to put it short, the point is that… forget it. I'm too tired to come up with an analogy. I think I should just go back to sleep now.

A muffled voice lazily echoed from behind my bedroom walls.

"…_not now Kyon, let me sleep, and then we can play_…"

-

Walking to school that day, I saw the effects of Christmas all around me. For the sake of this foreign holiday, people were putting up bright lights and making things pretty with plastic ornaments and gaudy wreaths. Ordinary trees now stood like glossy chandeliers, and city workers were now lacing every single building with strips of candied light bulbs. Decorations caked every major street in sight. Yes, this was the time where all small children steadily waited for the man in the blood-red suit to break into their homes and lay presents underneath their Christmas trees.

Did I mention that I never believed in Santa Clause? I think I might have.

Well, that day, I entered my usual classroom and sat down at my usual seat. And as always, I had my usual expression stapled onto my usual face. I had prepared myself for a usual day… however, there was a person behind me that consistently enjoyed screwing with me and messed all that up.

…

I didn't want to think about it. Even less did I want to have anything to do with it. Stepping into the mind of a mad woman was a dangerous thing. And diving into the head of Suzumiya Haruhi might as well be considered a suicide mission. However, today, the back of my head must've had "death wish" scrawled all over it, as my day-to-day tormenter had asked me a simple, and yet almost terrifying, question at the beginning of class.

"What do you think I'll get for Christmas?"

The answer: exactly whatever she wanted. This ranged from giant interstate highways to legions of tiny tentacle monsters. If she had said, '_I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle_', there is no doubt in my mind that she would actually get it. And since she asked _me_ this question, I was now solely responsible to make sure that not any of Haruhi's sick perverted imaginations came into actuality during Christmas.

…it's funny how that works.

Thinking fast on my feet, I replied,

"Clothes, probably, maybe gift cards…"

Haruhi pouted her lips and said dryly,

"That's really boring. Can't you think of something else?"

I answered.

"Well, knowing you, I bet you want something on the lines of… a real life Gundam on your front steps, complete with a manual to read and a drill that could pierce the heavens."

With her eyes half-closed she followed along with my words.

"But since that's probably _not _going to happen, you'll more than likely get something normal, like jewelry or other conventional accessories, things that_ other_ girls your age would want. Hell, you might even get plain cash if the person giving you the gift is too lazy to take up the effort to buy you something. It'd be best to ground your unrealistic high hopes during this time of year, Haruhi, or else you might be sorely disappointed."

And after that antagonizing comment, I added an important life lesson too.

"…but, of course, Christmas isn't _really_ about the gifts. The all around message of Christmas is about good will to all men alike and being kind to the less fortunate. With giving gifts, it's only the thought that really counts, so you should be happy with whatever you get, even if it's not exactly what you wanted."

A steadfast silence passed between us, and after several moments, Haruhi uttered an unmotivated,

"I see."

And then after that, the bell rang, and the conversation immediately ended.

-

Fast forwarding to a time where Christmas cheer was more prominent in the air, hellfire would scorch me with an event that even Haruhi couldn't predict. Granted, it could've been easily prevented if someone had bothered to remember my rant over how dangerous the internet was… it was still up to me to get rid of the consequences. That's one of the quirks of being the lowest ranked member of an undefined club. You get the crap jobs.

As a once famous comedian had always said, "I get no respect."

I walked into the clubroom, noticing that she and I were the only ones present at the moment. Also, Haruhi seemed to be in the act of wrapping a large package with a roll of cheap Christmassy… wrapping paper.

"Hey, you came just in time. Hand me that roll of tape over there."

Holding down the package with one hand and pointing off with the other, she crooned over to me like a bluebird. I had a feeling that this "festive" mood of hers would increase as the end of the year approached. I did as she ordered.

"Who are the presents for?"

"Everyone important in the SOS Brigade," she chirped, "I took the obligation to send everyone away so I could wrap these secretly."

Ah, so that explains it, but-

"Should I… leave too?"

"Nah, you can stay. I'm not giving you a present."

…hah?

"Hold this in place so I can tape the other side, will you?"

Our brigade leader tilted her head, expecting me to follow through to her demands, even when she had just degraded me in her previous sentence. I couldn't help but to gawk.

"…what are you doing just standing around?"

I feigned a sigh. If these weren't gifts for Asahina-san and the others, I'd outright refuse to help you, you realize that right?

"What's with the gifts all of a sudden? I didn't think we were going to exchange presents during the next Christmas party."

I stood across her limply with my hands on the package.

"That's not what I'm planning."

Haruhi stifled a triumphant laugh.

"You see, I realized that, you're right for once. Christmas _isn't_ about the giving. It's about the _receiving_. I figured that if I reveal my gifts in advance, everyone will have no choice but to give me a present of equal or greater value on the actual holiday."

Ah yes, the true meaning of Christmas… wait, no, that's not it! Did you even listen to me back then? Even if you faded in and out while I was talking, there's no way you could've gotten nothing out of that discussion, unless you were just flat-out ignoring me.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!"

Damn it, she's ignoring me.

"And… we're done!"

Haruhi stamped her name on the package and scrawled "_to Mikuru-chan_" in tiny microscopic font. And so, gift number one on Haruhi's Christmas list was complete. Despite just coming in here, I already feel tired.

"What'd you get Asahina-san anyway?" I asked.

Silence.

Her head suddenly popped up, and from her lips, a grin formed.

"It's… a secret."

Silence.

"You… didn't get her anything dangerous, did you?"

"I wouldn't say it was dangerous…"

She stretched her arms out casually and turned from my gaze.

"If it is, I'll never accept it."

"Well," she laughed, "I guess you'll just have to wait until tomorrow to see."

That smile, if it got any wider, I wonder if her head will snap off.

Let's think about it logically. She said she wanted to receive a present of equal or greater value in return for the one she gives out. Knowing that, she probably got her something that's very bizarre and weird. But to what extent? What could match up to Haruhi's expectations?

Possibility #1: it's a bomb.

Possibility #2: it's one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Possibility #3: it's a plushy voodoo doll of me which Asahina-san could love and cuddle with every night.

…

"I'm opening it."

I stated bluntly.

It took two second for me to take the present and peel off a little bit of the tape on the edge. Unfortunately, it took Haruhi a little less time to react.

"Hey! What are you-?"

Rrrrgh!

…

And, in an effort to take the package away from me, she hastily grabbed the top part of the box and pulled back, but, with too much force and… just plain bad luck, she managed to rip off most of the covering she worked so hard to wrap.

She looked at the torn paper in her hands.

"Well damn…"

…if this didn't make things easier on me, I would feel sorry for you.

I opened the box and glanced at its contents.

"Jeez, you freak," she mumbled angrily, "all that's in there are a few costumes and accessories. It's nothing to get worked up about."

True to her word, clothes inside clear plastic bags were mounted on top of one another inside the package. I felt a wave of relief from seeing that it wasn't anything too bizarre, though… I was really hoping for that doll.

"See? That's all there is. Just-"

She lifted up the props, probably expecting to see the additional items that went along with the outfits, like perhaps horn-rimmed glasses, bowties, ribbons, and attachable tails. There weren't any in there. However, she did expose what seemed to be various sex instruments lying on the bottom.

…

Huh…

Slowly, Haruhi placed the costumes back on top of the "assorted goods". And for a while, we just stood there.

…

"…by any chance," I said turning to her, "were you planning to-?"

"No!"

She shouted. I could see the blood rushing up to her face. Hell, after seeing that, my head's feeling a little heavy too. It's probably filled up with a week's load of fantasies and spam.

"I would never-! I mean, I didn't think-! This was all-! Nnnn!"

She stopped for a moment and came up with an actual sentence.

"It was the distributor's fault! They didn't… fully explain what these _accessories_ were!"

Damn it Haruhi, exactly what kind of website did you buy all this off of?

"In any case, we need to figure out what to do with this stuff."

…I'm sorry, did you say _"we"_? When did _I_ become your accomplice in this? In fact, I don't think I saw _anything_ in that box. Wait, box? What box? I don't see a box anywhere. And _cough cough_ whoa! I think I might be catching a cold. I think should just go on home now and rest for a bit. Well, so long Haruhi! I hope I didn't infect you.

I tried to make my exit then and there; however… the raging lion shot out its paw and dug its claws into the back of the fleeing gazelle's blazer.

"…Kyon, you remember that _thing_ you said you'd do for me during Halloween?"

"Halloween?"

…oh, Halloween, as if I could forget. Haruhi wanted to deface property with eggs and toilet paper and I convinced her to tell ghost stories with… a _really_ poor choice of words. Initially, it was a joke, like one of those "over my dead body" kind of thing, but she actually took it seriously and made it into blood contract. It was a little creepy. I wonder if she still has that piece of paper.

"You still remember that?"

"Yes."

I could see her wicked grin right behind me.

"But I think I'll… forget it, _if_ you help me out here."

…

I weighed the two evils: an ambiguously humiliating stunt which will degrade me of any pride or integrity I have left since my involvement in this club vs. helping Haruhi get rid of that _box of fun_, which she'll probably force me to do anyway even if I _do_ say "no".

…I should've run when I had the chance.

"You could just ask nicely, you know…"

I turned around and faced that girl's so-bright-it-burns smile. I let out a jaded breath.

"There's a dumpster out back," I suggested, "if you-"

I felt something strike the top of my head.

"Idiot. It'll be a waste of money to throw it all away. I actually paid a lot for this stuff."

It's a waste of money regardless.

"So what then, you want to mail it back for a refund?"

"Well," she said, "it's not like everything in this box is totally useless. I think we can keep some of these items here for future use."

…she caught herself before I could say anything.

"I was talking about the clothes!"

Of course you were.

"Look, I'll sort out all the safe junk and you throw out the rest, okay?"

And that was the plan. And so, for the next few minutes, Haruhi sifted through the box's contents while I stood guard by the door, since it would be _bad_ if someone walked in on us. And it'd be _worse _if they misunderstood. Well, when all that was said and done, she left the rest to me.

"Here, it'll look less suspicious if you go alone."

This is one hell of a Christmas present, Haruhi.

"And also, you better not speak a word of this to anyone. Otherwise, I swear I will rape you with that thermos-looking thing."

"Merry Christmas."

I said to her.

"Merry Christmas."

She said back.

-

I walked down the school corridors trying my best not to attract any attention. It wasn't easy. Considering that I was holding something probably illegal to carry on school grounds, I couldn't help but to feel a little edgy. It'd be a lot of trouble if any one of my teachers found out, and it would be pretty hard explaining this to my parents too. And if rumors started to fly, I might get an even worse nickname than I have now. Jeez, I wish this would be over already.

Alright, all I have to do is walk outside and throw this package away. That's it. That's all I have to do. I just got to make it. Distance from the school exit: five meters. Four meters. Three. Two.

"Oy! Kyon! Are you running another errand today?"

Oh, holy son of a bitch!

"Eh, Tsuruya-san…"

From a distance, my happy-go-lucky senpai skipped over to me with a smile that matched Haruhi's in intensity.

"Did you have classroom duties today?"

I asked.

Don't ask what's in the box. Don't ask what's in the box. God, I am praying to you. No, I am _begging_ you to impede any curiosity this girl in front of me may have.

"Yeah, but they said it was okay for me to go home early, saying somethin' about caging a free bird, or somethin'. Say! What's in the box?"

Damn it!

She reached out her crafty hands towards its cardboard interior with a hungry look, but part of that could've just been my imagination.

"Err, uh… toys."

I said, taking a step back.

"Toys?"

She thought for a moment… and then her eyes suddenly lit up. She smacked her fist against her palm and beamed.

"Oh! So you're gonna' donate them at the police station, are you?"

"Yes! Yes! Absolutely! You know how the SOS Brigade is… with the caring. Haruhi's got a… big, big heart."

I almost choked at those painful words, but… they seemed to have worked.

"That's mighty kind of her to do that! If there were more people like you guys, I bet this world would be a lot better place!"

I'm sorry Tsuruya-san, but you have the wrong idea. Please don't set such high morals on such people like us.

"Well, good luck on your trip! But-"

She spun around.

"Before I forget…"

Tsuruya-san brought out a Santa hat from her coat and placed it on my head. And, in imitation to a certain man in red, she let out a deep laugh.

"Nyo ho ho! Merry Christmas!"

"…thanks."

"I'll be seein' you around!"

She made her leave and skipped home, and, for a second, I stared in awe at her limitless energy. Honestly, why couldn't Haruhi be _that_ kind of eccentric?

…

I let out a short breath and proceeded to throw out the toys.

-

Christmas came and past, along with a lot of _other _stuff I don't want to mention. It would be around after New Years' when I would finally learn what Haruhi got for Christmas. When asked about it, she replied listlessly.

"Clothes… and gift cards."

…I was a little disappointed.

* * *

AN: After having a lonesome Christmas with my family and going virtually to the middle of nowhere for New Years, I'm back from a long vacation. Getting back to the groove of my niche is a little frustrating, but I think I'll manage. 

I've decided to rename _A Plain Ghost Story_, as it's a pretty lame name, and make this into a seasonal corner for any seasonal fics I may come up with. I call it, _Holiday Blue_. The name's nothing special. I came up with it while I was in the shower, though, it kind of reminds me of a crayola crayon, or some winter jazz ensemble. Overall, I really liked the feel of the name. Short. And a little poetic in some oddball way.

Well, my next update's going to be Chapter 6 of End of the World. I'm planning on posting towards the end of this month, but that's if nothing gets in the way.

Hoping everyone had a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!


	3. Santa y

A/N: So, I just finished watching the Disappearance movie, and it was really good. So good, in fact, it made me remember I had an account on this website, and that I had an unfinished story to tell. For those who have been waiting to read something of mine for these past years, thanks for being patient. And while I can't make any promises that I'll be finishing everything that I've started, I do take a lot of enjoyment writing and I'll probably be writing some more. So...here's an update to Blue Holiday!

_I.R.E._

* * *

The line to sit on Santa's lap wasn't as long as I thought it would be. It was long, but the time I spent actually standing was short. This was good since I disliked waiting. And even more, I really disliked waiting for something I wasn't excited for.

Adults herded their children between fences of velvet-wrapped candy canes, guiding us as if school hadn't already taught us how to stand in line correctly. Though, my parents weren't standing with me. They were watching from the sidelines and casually chatting to other parents about older-type things.

…

In all probability, this was child neglect.

Can't say I blame them though. There was a difference between adults and kids, and naturally, adults would rather hang out with other adults. People like talking to others of their own age group since there's a lot more to talk about. A kid like me wouldn't know much about the Soviet's Sputnik, or the American Apollo Program, or any other topic irrelevant to my age group. In the end, I guess this lack of understanding goes to show how...

How...

…"kiddy" I am.

If that's the right word...

Though...it's not like I was bothered by that. It was nice being a kid. Innocent. Pure. With no expectations whatsoever. I mean, I really did wish these days could last. Not like immortality or anything like that, but more like... the slowing down of time or the like...

…

…it's no point thinking about it. Really, I should just learn how to make the most of my childhood, before I turned into some old man that only remembers the way life used to be. Hopefully, my teenage years won't be wasted on complaining and hard-to-understand musings. That would be terrible.

_Ring-a-ling-a-ling_

_a-ling…_

I heard a bell.

The little girl that was sitting in the old man's lap hopped off, signaling everyone else to take a few strides closer to the end. Helper elves looked kind. The plastic snow looked pleasing. The air had a synthetically sweet smell.

My legs carried me forward, and to my surprise, I was the next to go up to the man in the red suit. I was virtually at the end of my journey. This was the final stretch. All I had to do was wait just a few more moments, then I could finally do what I came here to do. I really should be excited about for this.

Santa was in front of me, and somehow… I just wanted to get it over with.

"Hey!"

A voice caught me off guard.

I couldn't tell if it was directed at me, so I looked around a bit. A girl was standing across the velvet rope in the exit aisle next to me. She seemed normal, dolled up in a red pleated skirt and white blouse. She had a striking prettiness that probably made it difficult for others to talk to her. Incidentally, she was the same girl that was previously sitting on Santa's lap awhile ago.

"…hey."

I said back.

"You know, Santa's a nice man! He'll give you anything you want! All you have to do is ask him!"

I looked to the side and noticed that a man and woman looking semi-similar to the girl were talking to a sales clerk. I guess she was a neglected child too.

"Oh, is that so..."

"Wanna know what I asked him for?"

I didn't think she was giving me a choice.

"Well first, I asked him for a-"

Yeah, and I was right...

As she started to list off everything on her Christmas list, I decided to zone out and just nod my head. I didn't particularly think that doing something like that was mean. After all, we had just met, and… I was sure that she wouldn't notice anything as long as I looked interested.

Now, come to think of it, I haven't planned out what I was going to say once I got to Santa.

Of the things my parents could buy me, asking for a game console would probably be pushing our budget, but other than super expensive electronics, I really had no idea on what to want. There was always candy, but then again, wanting just candy for Christmas seemed a little off. Maybe ceramic plates. Plates didn't cost that much, did they? And probably, it's something I can appreciate, right? After all, they're plates. People need plates. But again, that's weird too, huh...

I wonder, was considering my home's monthly budget a natural thing for a kid? Maybe I should think whether or not I'm normal before I ask for normal things. Yeah, let's think about that for a second…

Or not.

Or whatever, I don't want to think about this anymore.

"Hey, are you listening?"

The girl in front of me seemed to be a little irritated at my dazed expression.

"…yeah, I'm listening."

"...hmm?"

She seemed skeptical, so I tried proving myself by repeating what I unconsciously absorbed.

"You said you wanted your parents to get you a… yellow hair band, right?"

"Not my parents," she corrected, "Santa. San-ta."

Putting her hands on her hips, she leaned forward, as if she was now looking down on me.

"…yeah, Santa, that's what I said."

"…"

And for some reason, the situation turned tense.

…

Her gaze moved down towards my feet and floated back up to my head. She was analyzing me for something, and I didn't feel too hot about it.

"What is it?"

She frowned and tilted her head.

"Say..."

Her voice got a little quieter, and she asked me a decidedly touchy question.

"Do you believe in Santa Clause?"

"..."

And I didn't know how to respond. What did she expect me to say? Was there a right answer to this question? Since I was standing in this line, it'd be natural to think that I did, right? I had to stop and think. Was this a trap?

"…yes."

…

The girl's stare was boring into me, and I found myself cracking under it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't lie to her. Even though we had just met, I felt like I had to tell the truth. No, more like, I felt that she was forcing me to tell the truth. Strange, I know, but that's what happened.

"…no."

And I said it.

"…honestly, I don't think I can believe in the existence of an old man who works only on Christmas Eve."

…

This was the first time I had actually said that out loud. Up until now, I had always just kept my thoughts to myself and never said anything. But now that I heard my own voice say those words, I felt chills. I had no regrets about it, but what really scared me was how... unhappy... I sounded.

_Ring-a-ling-a-ling_

_a-ling…_

I heard the bell again.

I looked around and saw the other kids behind me waiting patiently for me to go up. I needed to move, but at the same time, I felt like I needed to apologize to this girl.

"I've got to go now," I said, "Look, I'm sorry for saying all that-"

"_How dare you._"

"Huh?"

She said something in a low voice. I almost didn't catch it. She then repeated the phrase, this time yelling it out for the whole store to hear.

"How dare you!"

I couldn't react quick enough. Deftly vaulting over the velvet rope, she headbutted me right under the chin. I fell to the ground, and she fell on top of me.

"How dare you say that about an old decrepit man!"

What? Decrepit? Is that really how you see San-

The girl straddled herself onto my torso as I desperately tried to scurry back up to my feet.

"You don't deserve to be in Santa's presence!"

I tried to push her off using my arm but-

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go! Let go!"

I felt something sharp clamp down onto my skin, and the next thing I knew, adults were rushing around the two of us, trying pry us apart.

"Mmm! Hrmm! Mmmmr!" (I'll make your life hell!)

…

Well, after everything was said and done, the girl returned home with her parents, and I was sent back to "Santa's Workshop". And all was well with the world.

Except it wasn't.

She bit me. I can't believe she bit me. Just why did she bite me? What? Why? What?

Just...

...ugh.

Touching the scars on my forearm, I walked up the elevated platform to where Santa was. My mood was less than happy and my tolerance was low. I really didn't want to be doing this. I hoped to forget that girl's face and everything about this incident. While making a seat out of Santa's leg, I tried to erase the last ten minutes of my life out of existence.

"Now what would you like, little boy?"

A gruff, grizzly voice addressed me.

"..."

I looked up. From what I could tell as I sat in his lap, he seemed like a nice man. His body type was Santa-y in terms of how Santa was supposed to be, but his synthetically curly beard and distinctively Japanese eyes were questionable. He still seemed like a nice man though, honestly.

"I think…"

At this time, I decided to stop thinking and let my mind go.

"A gift card would be nice."

"…gift card?"

He seemed to flinch at my decision.

"Yeah, a gift card," I repeated, "There doesn't have to be a lot of money on it. I just want something convenient I can use for when I need something. A gift card for maybe my local supermarket or…"

In my head, I realized it was rather bland of me to ask this, but a gift card was a pretty practical gift. It was about as practical as ceramic plates.

"You do realize that I'm Santa Clause, right? I can get you anything you want."

"…anything?"

He nodded, but I didn't have that much faith in what he was telling me.

"I think it'd be too much for you to turn around Japan's economic recession."

"Err...well… that's not really…"

The man in the red suit caught himself before he could delve any deeper into our nation's future. He offered me an alternative.

"How about..." he said, "I give you a shiny red fire truck? How does that sound?"

"…"

I stared at the nice man. Drops of sweat was forming from his brow, and his glinting eyes seemed desperate. He was tired. So I bit the bullet for his sake.

"…sure, that'd be nice."

* * *

As I left towards home, I hugged myself to squeeze out any body heat left in my torso. God knows how much my arms needed it. While I could just blame Haruhi for forcing me out on this cold winter night, I really couldn't since it was technically a voluntary effort. Maybe, I should blame my kind heart?

Or maybe Haruhi.

The skies were still dark, and I realized how ridiculously late it was. If I ran into the police, I didn't think I'd be able to explain why I was out after curfew on Christmas Eve. Honestly, such a celebration shouldn't last so long! Though I can't say that I didn't have fun with everyone in the clubroom, it really was a bad idea to stay up so late! Why must my kind heart be so kind? If something does happen and Haruhi doesn't back me up, I swear I'll...

…do something. I'll do something drastic. Yeah, that'll show her.

I could hear the frigid air crack in the distance as well as every one of my footsteps dissipate into the cold dark night. It was torture. Let alone the cold, the eerie emptiness of life would scare the living daylights out of anyone sane. Christmas usually meant spending time with your family in the comfort of your living room, not randomly walking down desolate streets at night. Everyone else was probably snug in their beds and what was I doing? What I'd give to have-

"...!"

Walking passed a corner, something shot passed me.

It was big. And it was fast. So fast, I almost thought I imagined it, but I swear, there **_was _**something.

I whipped my head back to see what it was, maybe a bit too quickly as my neck started cramping badly, but I thought I spotted it before it disappeared around the block. It kind of looked like a deer, and while a deer in the suburbs wouldn't be too uncommon, the shiny red rubbery nose was a little odd.

…

I really didn't want to think about it much further than that. I needed to be home at least before my sister wakes up, so moving along...

Walking further down the street, I started noticing something ahead of me. I couldn't make out what it was, and I had no choice but to find out what it was, as it was in my way. From half-a-block away, it was a red blob. From three-quarters of the way, it was a man lying on the road, possibly dead. From ten meters, it was definitely an old man lying on the road.

…

"…"

…

Well, this was disturbing.

I wonder, should I call the police? Then again, I should probably not involve myself with the police right now so... I guess I'll ignore this also.

"….unghh."

In any case, he seemed to be alright. At this ridiculous hour, there were bound to be strange people lying around in the streets anyway. It's most likely very common. So, moving along...

"Hey. Where do you think you're going, bub?"

The old man was calling out to me. Really now, I just wanted to go home, but...damn it.

"O...O-Oh! Are you okay! You had me worried there for a second!"

The old man, despite looking slightly overweight, managed to maneuver himself easily onto his chubby legs. While dusting off his strange outfit, he decided to scold me.

"Ah. Shaddup. I don't need people like you to showing off your fake sympathy. It's Christmas for God's sake. Where's your damn spirit?"

Somehow, I think I might have gotten myself caught up in something troublesome. I had better make my leave soon.

"Well, that's-"

"Hold it!"

He silenced me.

"Now, I've been in this business for a long time you see, but your generation's got me pulling extra weight. What's up with these wishes here? Smartphones? Tablets? What? I just don't get younger people anymore! Back in my day, people were happy with a plain old kendama. But now, things are completely different. Just what are parents teaching kids these days? Huh?"

Although he was angry, he didn't seem drunk. Though, that still didn't make him any less dangerous.

"I don't think-"

"Nothing! That's what they're teaching! They're all too busy doing so-and-so and doo-be-doo. They got no time to actually take care of their kids, so they buy this crap to do their job for them. And in the end, who's it up to build all this stuff? Do you know who? Do you want to know whose sad life it is to pick up all this slack?"

Using both his thumbs, he pointed at himself.

"This guy."

His rant stopped momentarily, but I could tell another one was on its way up. Despite better judgment, I decided to give some input to end this quickly.

"... it sounds like you're not satisfied with the gifts you're giving for Christmas."

The old man gave me a straight face.

"Yeah. I'm not."

He said it bluntly. He wasn't amused by my efforts to understand where he was coming from. Though, if he didn't want me to understand , what the hell was the point of ranting? Really, I should leave now.

"But you know... that's not exactly... in line with the novelty of Christmas. What-"

"'_**Novelty**_'?"

He gawked at the word I just used.

"Shit, has my holiday really sunk down to that level? To become a 'novelty'?"

I stopped him before he could come up with another rant.

"What Christmas is about is good will to all men alike and being kind to the less fortunate, right? So, as long as you put some _thought _into what you want to give, you don't really have to get anyone exactly what they've asked for. Just putting time and effort into thinking about them is enough. And if they don't like it in the end, they probably didn't deserve it to begin with."

What I said was a bit short and corny, but I felt satisfied with how it sounded. Surely, he had to agree with me about this.

"..."

The old man gave my words a thought.

"Well, actually, Christmas is essentially about the gifts."

And he shot my idea down completely. Then and there, I decided to leave him alone and go home. It didn't seem like he was going to chase after me or anything, so taking off would probably be safe.

"I'm going now."

As I made my leave, he called out to me again.

"Though, your idea of Christmas, I like it! You're not such a bad kid after all!"

I glanced back to see the old man hobble off in the direction I came from.

...

...and in that instance, I suddenly remembered an old telephone trick that could work around Caller ID. Taking out my cell phone, I did what was natural of a good citizen.

"Hello? Yes, I would like to report a strange man wandering around..."

...

"...I'm sorry, my name? That would be...Smith...John Smith. So yeah, there's this old guy..."

* * *

"Clothes... and gift cards."

Haruhi had said listlessly.

"What about you?"

Though she probably didn't care, I answered her anyway.

"Nothing interesting. Though, if it counts, my aunt did give my family a commemorative Christmas platt-"

"Stop. I actually don't care."

As I thought.

While I didn't really get anything interesting for Christmas, there was something that occurred on the night of Christmas Eve. See, when I woke up on Christmas morning, I found that someone had apparently broken into my room, brutally murdered my alarm clock, and stole all my saved up cash to buy a new bike. I can't say who though, and I don't know why the burglar was so selective, since both my sister and parents' rooms were unscathed. But... I was most like very lucky that that's all that happened.

If Haruhi was in the mood, I'd tell her all about it, but since she's not, whatever.


End file.
